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skeetfighter:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

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  • 3 weeks ago
  • 201370

It is 91,000 damn degrees. I am sitting right next to my air-conditioner. Right next to it. It is on the lowest temperature, on the highest damn speed, ok? 64 degrees, and it’s on turbo. What the fuck do I need to put this bitch on? Power Ranger?! This is fucking unacceptable. I did NOT sign up for this. When I prayed during the winter months, I asked The Lord to make it warm; I did not say, “Lord, please bring the Devil from Hell and have him sit his ass-crack on earth.” That’s not what I asked for. That is not what I requested. Ok? He need to hear the houses of the people who was beggin’ for summer all damn winter and fall. All them mothafuckers that was makin’ pictures and special little telegrams and counting down the days till summer. “I can’t wait to be on the beac!. I can’t wait to enjoy myself and be in the sun!” Well then you put the sun in their fucking living rooms, and you make my damn living room snow. I can not do this, ok? The Lord needs to delegate temperature and weather to somebody else. Where the hell is Moses? Talk to Moses about this shit ‘cause The Lord is out of control, and I can not deal with this. I am not tropical. I am not a damn toucan. This fuckin’ — this is too much. I should — it should not be so damn hot that I’m up in here havin’ dreams about me being on fire. Everybody gettin’ on my damn nerves. It’s so goddamn hot! Shit! SHIT! Shit. Ugh. Everybody’s gettin’ on my nerves. These kids is gettin’ on my nerves. These niggas downstairs keep barbecuin’ every damn day. Every day. Every day can’t be a holiday! Every day can’t be a holiday! It is not a celebration! Who the hell is payin’ for all this damn meat! Barbequin’ every got-damned day. For what?! Shit! Ooh it’s hot. Imma slit somebody’s throat over this heat. Imma lose my fuckin’ mind. I get it why people just start shootin’ during the summer. Don’t give me no firearms because I am about to go the hell off. I do not do this. This is not what I do. I’m not — hell naw. Shit. No. Jesus, be a raindrop or central air because I cannot breathe.

thekrissychula
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  • #It's 102 outside #kill me #i am rendering #where's moses #thekrissychula #Dallas
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I. Am. In. Love.

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